his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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