even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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