Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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