you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
