It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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