My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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