Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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