she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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