My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Randomize
