Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
