your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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