He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i will never coherently bang her
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
