There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
