oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
