once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
