tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
