Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
