I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
