if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
two words: eviction party
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
