I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
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