Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i would one night stand the shit outta him
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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