Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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