when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
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Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
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We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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