if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
