Your dad touched me again.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
