You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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