WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
