I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
