I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
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