Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
