oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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