You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize