He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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