All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
