you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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