I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
