OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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