Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
