I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
