Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
