no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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