hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
