sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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