I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
