Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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