3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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