She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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