Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
