In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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