$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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