you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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