1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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