I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize