she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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