you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she pinky promised me she was 18
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
