R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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