quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
