i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
