see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
