I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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