Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
