Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
