I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
