Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think your dad took our porno
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
