I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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