My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
