If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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