Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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