question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm like, not good at living.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
